


Hymne à l'amour

by zico-aesthetics (WritingBarnes)



Series: Let's Not Fall In Love - BTS Soulmate Series [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 06:19:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11374338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBarnes/pseuds/zico-aesthetics
Summary: This was how his morning came to be. He would dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom he shared with his roommates so he could wash up. Once he dried himself, he would lowered the toilet lid and sat on it while taking out a drawing pen from the bathroom drawer under the sink, the guilt never once stop gnawing at his heart as he traced his fading tattoo, thanking the heavens for giving him a talent in art. He would walk out the bathroom when he was done, feeling like a complete fraud, the same words ringing in his head over and over again.Min Yoongi was a fucking coward and a filthy liar.





	Hymne à l'amour

**Author's Note:**

> A.N : Let me know what you think! Not really proof-read to there may be some mistakes

_Min Yoongi, despite his brash and straightforward personality, was a fucking coward._

He laughed quietly to himself as he picked up the fine-tip drawing pen and neatly traced the fading cursive words on his left arm with impressive precision, a painfully heartbreaking routine he had to put himself through everyday. He had done it countless times, too many times, he realized, when he easily pressed the tip of the pen on his skin without a single hesitation, his muscles remembering each strokes and movements as he covered the fading ink with a new black ink of his pen. _How pathetic could you be_ , he thought, eyes fixed on the newly touched-up cursive name on his wrist. How many nights did he spend praying, to God he didn’t even know, hoping it would stay on his skin for the rest of his life? And how many mornings did he spend watching the ink wash away under the running hot water, furious at the universe for being so cruel to him? Didn’t he spend enough time suffering? Hasn’t he done enough for the world? How many bad things do one had to suffer through before they get to be happy? Was it the universe’s way of telling him he was fucked? _Well, fuck you too._ Yoongi scoffed and threw the marker back into the drawer, slamming it shut before he exited the bathroom.

This was how his morning came to be. He would dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom he shared with his roommates so he could wash up. Once he dried himself, he would lowered the toilet lid and sat on it while taking out a drawing pen from the bathroom drawer under the sink, the guilt never once stop gnawing at his heart as he traced his fading tattoo, thanking the heavens for giving him a talent in art. He would walk out the bathroom when he was done, feeling like a complete fraud, the same words ringing in his head over and over again.

_Min Yoongi was a fucking coward and a filthy liar._

.

It was only 7 A.M, which meant Yoongi had about two more hours before he had to go downstairs to start his shift at the coffeeshop, a small business he started with his six best friends. He could hear Jin’s nagging voice from the first floor, followed by Jimin’s almost inaudible complaint. There was a faint singing coming from Taehyung’s and Hoseok’s room, signalling their excitement to start the day. Yoongi shook his head in disbelief, strands of mint hair hung on his face. _How could someone be that excited instead of nursing a hangover_ , he wondered, recalling his two friends’ drunk shenanigans the night before. There were still traces of last night’s dinner on the dining table, empty soju bottles, dirty plates, empty takeout boxes, and a few glasses. It was Namjoon’s turn to wash the dishes, he shrugged, making no effort to clean it up as he walked past it and headed straight towards the kitchen. He grabbed a box of cereal from the shelf and walked over to the fridge to take out the cold milk, eyes glancing at the balcony window.

The morning looked as somber as his heart, which brought out a childish sense of pride in him. He watched the grey clouds slowly covered the blue sky and the sun that had just risen, the dull colors of the apartment buildings across the street slightly blanketed with morning fog, the familiar grey cat that seemed to be too comfortable with sleeping on the window ledge. The radio made a crackling sound as it delivered today’s weather forecast: chance of gusty wind, thunderstorm, downpour. _Perfect_. Yoongi sarcastically thought, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, slowly getting lost in the dull yet oddly comforting scenery outside the window of his apartment.

“Coffee?” Namjoon’s voice startled him and he jumped on his seat, loud curses spilled out of his lips as he dropped the spoon into his almost empty cereal bowl with a loud clank. The younger male raised his eyebrows in amusement pointing his chin at the freshly brewed coffee on the kitchen counter as he made his way to the kitchen sink to wash the dirty dishes. “You look like shit, hyung.”

“Well, you would too if your room is directly next to Taehyung, Jimin, and Hobi who decided 1 A.M is the perfect time to belt out Fantastic Baby.” Yoongi retorted as he poured himself a cup of black coffee, trying to not wince at the scalding temperature.

“If it’s any consolation, Jimin is hungover as fuck and he’s trying not to chuck a broom at Jin hyung downstairs.”

“Good.” Yoongi chuckled as he dumped his empty cereal bowl on the sink, earning a stink-eye from Namjoon, which he promptly ignored. “I’m gonna go and watch him suffer.”

.

Taehyung was the one who came up with the name Bangtan Cafe, a name that still made Yoongi rolled his eyes and pretended he hated it whenever he had to say it out loud to customers. But his friends knew better. His lips would tilt into a tiniest of smile, barely noticeable and they could always see the millisecond flash of proud twinkle in his eyes as he muttered out the words. Yoongi loved this cafe as much as they did, despite his constant grumbling and snappish personality when he had to deal with irksome customers.

He pushed open the wooden door that connected the cafe to the stairs of the apartment, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and newly baked cookies wafted over him as he walked over to the back office. He ignored the curious stares of their customers, a bunch of sleep deprived college students, desperate to get their daily intake of caffeine to get through the day. Yoongi turned the knob on the door, unsurprised when he found Jungkook sprawled on the floor of his office, sleeping like the dead with papers strewn all over the floor, his laptop still playing a soft tune. He raise his eyebrows in amusement as he closed the door and set his coffee mug on the table.

“Wake up, kid. You’re gonna be late to class.” He nudged Jungkook with his foot before he sat on the chair and turned on his laptop. A sleepy groan escaped the younger boy’s lips before he opened his eyes, mumbling incoherent sentences that Yoongi couldn’t quite catch. It was adorable, really, not that Yoongi would say it out loud.

“What time is it, Hyung?”

“Almost nine.” Yoongi replied, eyes focused on the computer screen in front of him.

“Shit!” Jungkook cursed out loud. He scrambled to his feet, staggering at the sudden movement and gathered the papers into a messy stack. “See you soon, hyung.” He hastily added before rushing out of Yoongi’s office.

“Did he sleep here again?” Jimin peek inside a small smile.

“And woke up late again.” Yoongi nodded. It was a good thing that the cafe was located only a few blocks away from the college or Jungkook would have failed his classes years ago. “Do you need anything, Jimin? I could hear your fangirls screaming for your names outside.” He smirked at Jimin’s flushed cheeks. Yoongi, despite his indifference and his love to stay cooped up in his office, knew that there was a group of college girls who always came everyday at 8 A.M to order decadent, diabetes inducing drinks and to chat up Jimin. One of them actually tried to talk to him once, only to leave him a few minutes later when he gave her a cold glare.

“Fuck you.” Jimin replied, lips quirked into a teasing smile that Yoongi loathed. “Speaking of girls…”

“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence, Park Jimin.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin’s smug smile. _This little bastar–_

“The love of your life is here!” Jimin finished with a cackle as he dodged a book Yoongi had thrown his way and ran out, too engrossed in his teasing to notice the slight falter of Yoongi’s expression.

.

He didn’t know when all of this started. _Who was he kidding_. He exactly knew when this lying habit of his started, even the exact day and date, September 1st 2016.

It was a chilly Thursday night and Yoongi was drunk out of his mind. Jungkook just told him about his soulmate mark that appeared earlier that day and everyone was out celebrating, happy for their youngest who finally got his mark in his 19th birthday. And he wanted to be happy for Jungkook too. Really. The maknae might be a little too enthusiastic and too loud at times, but Jungkook was nothing but adorable and he had been living under their care ever since his family died in an accident. Yoongi had never seen the boy looked so happy in his life and couldn’t ruin it with the bitterness that had lodged itself in his heart. So he did what he had to do. He gave Jungkook the most sincere smile he could muster, said his congratulations, laughed a little when the latter looked at him in surprise, and retreated back to his room before anyone could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“You okay?” Jin stepped into his room without knocking. Yoongi looked up to find Jin staring at him with a small smile. He knew Jin was worried about him and that his was still bare of any names even though it had been four years since his 19th birthday and a year since he met his soulmate. The older guy didn’t mention anything and stood by the doorway, waiting for him to speak. This was the thing about Jin. He never looked at him like he was some kind of a glitch. There were no pity in his eyes. And Yoongi hated it. He could always came out with snarky responses when people gave him sad smiles, or snapped at them. But this. This was different. This made Yoongi’s heart constricted painfully. This just made him feel the emotions he had hidden, tucked away in a box inside his heart.

“I’m not. But it’s okay.” Yoongi honestly replied.

“Okay.” Jin nodded and left his room without another word.

 _Yoongi is not feeling so well,_ he could hear Jin’s smooth voice outside his room a moment later. _He wants us to go without him._ Yoongi turned his attention away from the door, blocking out their voices with the sound of his music _. It’s okay. I’m used to it_.

Two hours and five soju bottles later, Yoongi realized how empty he was feeling, cursing the alcohol for not helping him forget. And his alcohol-ridden mind seemed to focus on only one thing, the small drawing pen lying on his desk. He reached out and uncapped the pen, eyes glancing down to his bare wrist. _Just this time_ , he thought to himself as he shakily pressed the pen to his skin. He slowly wrote her name in cursive, lips curled into a sad smile as he watched the black ink bleed into his skin. He could imagine her blooming smile and the little laugh of hers he loved so much and wondered if she was really alright with not having her name etched on his wrist.

_They were trying to sleep when he said his apology. “I’m sorry. I know you dreamed of this all your life and you expected your soulmate to have your name too. But I don’t and I’m sorry you have to end up with me.”_

_“I’ll love you no matter what, Yoongi.” He heard her say, face buried in his chest as they lie on the messy bed. Yoongi only hummed as he drew random patterns on her bare back with his thumb. He knew that tone a little too well and he knew that despite what she said, she still deserved someone who was not a glitch like him._

_She looked up a moment later, eyes filled with so much love it made his heart thundered loudly against his ribcage. “I love you.” Yoongi slowly said, cheeks flushed pink at the 1 AM confession._

He fell back to the bed as the memory flashed before him, eyes still fixated on her name on his wrist. He wondered if there were other people like him, who waited for one specific name to came out, only to feel hopeless with each passing day when their wrists were still bare of any mark. People who had to stare into the eyes of their loved ones, knowing they might not be destined together.

“Yoongi?” His eyes widened at the familiar voice. _Did he finally lose his mind_ –

“Yoongi?” This was not a hallucination nor a dream. She was here. Yoongi’s face brightened a little as he scrambled to open the door.

And there she was, with her warm smile and fond eyes that trailed over to his wrist– _Fuck_. He quickly pulled down the sleeve of his sweater, smiling sheepishly at her. “What’s up?” He tried to distract her, but it was too late.

“Is… Uhm.. Is that my name?” She meekly asked with flushed cheeks.

Apparently, his drunk self was more desperate than his sober self. The words ‘yes’ escaped his lips before he could even stop himself. He winced while she looked down at her wrist and unstrapped the watch that hid the name of her soulmate. That hid his name. That was the moment when he realized there were nothing more heartbreaking and painful than this moment.

“We finally matched.” She grinned and he sobered immediately at his name written on her wrist. She wrapped her arms around him and tiptoed to give him a kiss. And despite the warmth of her skin, Yoongi could still feel icy guilt crept up on him, threatening to suffocate him. He didn’t even know how he could still smile at her and feel like a complete fraud at the same time. It was just one time, he told himself, making a mental promise to come clean tomorrow morning. _But who was he trying to kid?_ One night turned to two, and then a week, and a month and before he could realize it, a year had passed.

.

“Yoongi-Yoongi!” Yoongi snapped out of his train of thoughts at the chirpy voice. She was waving at him excitedly, her black apron hung loose on her neck. She was struggling to tie a knot of the apron and it took him a solid minute before he strode towards her and tied it up for her instead.

“You’re turning into Namjoon.” He commented when she almost tripped over her own feet trying to face him.

“Very funny.” She rolled her eyes, cheeks tinted pink at their close proximities and the soft smile Yoongi gave her that made her weak in the knees and sent her heart racing. She could hear whispers behind her, customers who were genuinely surprised that the mint-haired boy was capable of emotion other than displeasure. She fleetingly wondered if they really thought Yoongi was some kind of android. Her daydream was destroyed by Yoongi who tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear with his head tilted in confusion.

“You’re making that face again.” He pointed out with a small grin.

“I am not.” She narrowed her eyes, smacking his arm playfully as she walked back to the counter with Yoongi trailing behind her. He sat next to her while she took over the registry to let Jin eat his breakfast.

.

“Good morning! What can I get you?” [Y/N] smiled widely at the young woman standing in front of her, who kept staring at Yoongi with lovestuck eyes.

“Hi, Yoongi-oppa.”

“She asked you a question.” Yoongi flatly said, pointing his finger at [Y/N]. The woman looked unfazed by his coldness, smiling a little when he turned away from her.

“I was wondering if you want to go out on a da–”

“This woman right here is my soulmate.” Yoongi said with monotonous voice, startling the woman. “And I would appreciate it if you decide what you want to order or leave, cause there are people waiting behind you.”

[Y/N] bit back the smile and gave the woman an apologetic look. “So, do you want to order anything?”

“No thanks.” The woman snapped, leaving [Y/N] flabbergasted.

“That was quick.” Taehyung commented as he settled next to [Y/N]. “Now say goodbye to your girlfriend and start working, Hyung. Jin hyung is going to kill you if he found out you kicked out another customer.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes but stood up nevertheless. “See you at lunch.” He mumbled, kissing [Y/N]’s forehead before he made his way back to his office.

“How romantic.” Taehyung flatly responded, earning a smack on the head from [Y/N].

“Shut up, Tae.”

.

The light drizzle had turned to heavy downpour by the time their morning shift ended and the somewhat blissful atmosphere in the cafe soon turned to more of a chaos, with Jimin slipping over a wet puddle by the front door right before he left the cafe to grab some lunch. There was a thud accompanied with a loud crack that made Jimin shouted strings of profanities and painful groans. Taehyung, who was trying to juggle a few empty coffee cups, quickly sprinted towards his friend. He panicked at the sight of Jimin’s weirdly bent wrist, not noticing the wet puddle in front of him. One screaming voice soon turned to two, and by the time Yoongi and Namjoon walked out of the office, Taehyung was hugging [Y/N] with teary eyes while they sat next to Jin who was trying to assess Jimin’s wrist. [Y/N] gave Yoongi a small smile as she rubbed Taehyung’s back to comfort him.

“The fuck happened here?” Yoongi frowned.

“I’m going to take them to the hospital. I think he broke his wrist,” Jin looked up with a grimace and pointed his finger at Taehyung. “This kid panicked and fell down and sprained his ankle.”

“Take Namjoon with you, hyung. [Y/N] and I will manage the cafe. Hoseok and Jungkook will be back in a few hours and there weren’t that many customers.” Yoongi spoke out. “We’ll be fine.” He added with a smile when the older guy turned to him with a skeptical look.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked as he helped Taehyung got on his feet.

“Yeah. We’ll be fine.” [Y/N] nodded with a smile. “Drive safely, Seokjin.”  

.

Something was bound to go wrong at some point and Yoongi had been living in constant anxiety the past year, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He came up with scenarios and ways to explain why he did what he did. Yet not even his vast and creative imagination could come up with the scene unfolding in front of him.

The crowds had died down, leaving him and [Y/N] with several regular college students who were too busy with their work to pay attention to what was happening around them. It was quiet and he loved it. He juggled a bunch of dirty coffee cups and tiny plates back to the kitchen sink, sleeves rolled up to his elbow so he could wash the dishes without wetting his favorite shirt. [Y/N] busied herself with the cash registry and refilling coffee cups for the poor students. It took him a while to realize he couldn’t hear [Y/N]’s random humming voice nor her cheerful voice. Face turned into a confused frown, he looked up and his eyes widened when he found [Y/N] standing near the kitchen entrance, eyes glued to his wrist.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Your mark.” She whispered and Yoongi quickly looked down to his ‘mark’, a faded cursive word of her name. His eyes widened as he turned back to her and his mind scrambled to find a logical reasoning for his lies. “It wasn’t real?”

“[Y/N]–”

“Was it fun?” She cut him off. “Trying to play with my feelings, Yoongi?” She asked, her lips curled into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I’m not playing with your feelings!” He quickly said, feeling frustration took over him. “Do you know how pathetic it was to not have your name here?! Do you know how embarrassing it would be if people saw it?” The words slipped past his lips even before he could think about it and regret washed over him when he saw the hurt flashed across her face.

“Embarrassed.” She blinked back her tears and let out a laugh. “That’s your excuse to lie?”

“I just want your name on my wrist.” Yoongi quietly said as he looked away from her. “I’m a glitch and you deserve someone who has your name on their wrist but I’m too selfish to let you go and I just– I just want to have your name on my wrist. You’re my soulmate.”

A long silence stretched between them and it took every inch of his being to find the courage to look at her. She was standing with her back straight, eyes bright with fresh tears that made his heart ache. Her lips trembled and she bit her lips roughly, leaving a slight indentation of his teeth when she opened her mouth to speak. And Yoongi, the occasionally brash person who never let fear took control of him, when faced with her and his exposed lies, did the one thing he knew he would regret.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.”

He left.

.

Jungkook was exhausted and all he wanted was to curled up in his bed with [Y/N]’s special chocolate drink and his video games. His lips tilted into a small smile as he walked faster towards the red bricked building he called home for the past years. He could already imagine [Y/N] be waiting for him in the counter with her warm smile and she would ask him about his day, Yoongi’s snarky comments that earned a smack in the head, and Hoseok’s heating up his favorite pie. Jin would came back home later and cook a nice hearthy dinner for everyone. It would be a perfect way to end his exam week, he giddily thought as he climbed up the few steps that lead to the cafe entrance.

Jungkook ignored Hoseok who was trying to catch up with him and pushed the door, eyebrows knitted in confusion when it didn’t budge. He tried it a couple more times, the smile on his face slowly disappeared when he noticed the empty room inside.

“Is something wrong?” Hoseok jogged towards him. The younger male turned to him with worried expression and pointed his finger at the small sign on the door. “Closed? Jin hyung said [Y/N] and Yoongi Hyung is here?”

“Did something happened, hyung?” Jungkook asked as they walked around to get to the back door, his frown deepened when they couldn’t open the door either.

“Let me call them.” Hoseok replied.

Jungkook pulled out his phone, fingers deftly pressing the keyboard to send her favorite noona a string of messages.

_Noona?_

_Noona? Are you okay?_

_Where are you?_

_Please answer Hobi Hyung’s call_

_Noona?_

_Did something happened?_

_I’m going to your place now, noona._

“Jin hyung said he’ll be back in an hour or two. Do you want to climb the emergency stairs?” Hoseok asked.

Jungkook looked up from his phone and shook his head.

“I’m going to check noona’s place.”

.

Everyone had a soft spot for Jeon Jungkook and they knew it, even Jungkook knew how spoiled he was and he was unashamed of the fact. He knew that Yoongi would always let him off the hook when he messed up his office, or that Jin hyung always made him extra food because he knew that Jungkook loved his food, or the fact that Taehyung and Namjoon would always hid little presents for him to find in his room, and that Hoseok and Jimin would pat his head and let him skip classes when he flashed them his puppy eyes. But no one could beat [Y/N] when it comes to spoiling Jungkook. She always set aside a small slice of cake of the day just for him, despite Yoongi’s nagging, and she was always ready to lend him a shoulder to cry on when he felt too overwhelmed. She was his [Y/N] noona and despite everyone’s (mostly Yoongi’s) disagreement, she would always be his favorite noona and his best friend.

Which was why it hurt a thousand times more when Jungkook stepped inside her apartment and found her curled in the kitchen floor with tears streaming down her face. He dropped his bag and crouched in front of her, unsure of what he should do. She was the one who did the comforting and he was the one who was always in the middle of a breakdown.

“Noona.” Jungkook carefully called her.

“Your shift started in 10 minutes.” Was all she said between ragged sobs.

“Are you serious?” Jungkook snorted and pulled her into a hug, smiling a little when she slowly curled her arms around. “Everything is going to be okay, noona.”

“You don’t even know what happened.” She mumbled against his shirt and Jungkook laughed, hands smoothing down the back of her shirt.

“Yeah. But you’re [Y/N] noona. It’s going to be okay.” He gently said as he rubbed her back.

Jungkook was never good with comforting words and gestures. But he knew he did the right thing when her sobbings slowly quieted down, leaving both of them in a comforting silence.

“Yoongi doesn’t have any mark.”

“What?” Jungkook pulled back in surprise.

“I– He was washing the dishes and i saw his wrist and–” she let out a shaky sigh and bit her lips. “It was marker. He drew it. And… now he left.”  She chuckled. “He left just like that.”

“Noona–”

“I…I would understand, you know.” She looked up and gave Jungkook a tiny smile. “I’ve been in love with him even before his name came up on my wrist and he left because he thinks I deserve better.”

  
“What the fuck?”

[Y/N] laughed at Jungkook’s outburst and the latter blushed in embarrassment a few seconds later. “He’s stupid.”

“He is.” [Y/N] nodded.

“But he loves you and he will come back and apologize because he is Yoongi hyung.” Jungkook said after a while, his heart twisted in pain as he tried to find the right words to say. “He might be scared and hurt and disappointed with himself but he loves you too much to leave. I mean, Yoongi hyung is not that stupid, you know.”

[Y/N] looked at Jungkook as her lips curled into a warm smile. She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a small sigh. “You grew up so fast, Kookie. Where’s the little Kookie who always begs for hot cocoa every Friday night?”

Jungkook chuckled. He reached out his hand to grasp hers, feeling a little sting in his wrist when he kissed the back of her hand. The name on his wrist might be scratched out after a few months of receiving them but it still hurt nonetheless. He leaned back against the counter and closed his eyes. _Yoongi’s soulmate. Not his._ A mantra he repeated in his head over and over again, hoping his heart would somehow listen.

It never did.

.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Yoongi turned his gaze away from the cityscape he had been staring the past few hours to find Namjoon standing a few meters behind him. Namjoon gave him a dimpled smile as he approached the older guy and sat on the empty spot next to him.

“Did they know?” Yoongi’s eyes went back to the bright lights of the city, slowly losing himself in the beautiful view.

“Jungkook went to her apartment and found her crying.” Namjoon replied, ignoring the way Yoongi flinched. “You fucked up real bad, hyung.”

“I know.” Yoongi nodded.

Namjoon watched his friend’s lips pressed into a thin line, his gaze hardened as if he was willing himself not to cry and Namjoon noticed the slightly swollen eyes before he slowly gazed down to Yoongi’s bare wrist. There was still a faint mark on his wrist, a remnant of Yoongi’s lies. Yoongi quickly pulled down the sleeves of his shirt when he noticed Namjoon’s staring.

“Did you know that soulmate marks don’t necessarily mean everything?” Namjoon softly smiled as he watched the darkened sky. “Some people were given the chance to find their own soulmate. Some scratched it out because it was just a name. Some believed it with all their hearts. As cheesy as it sounds, at the end of the day, it’s just a mark and it could never beat love. I can understand why you did it, hyung. It’s difficult to live without a mark, especially when we live in an era where a small mark is so glorified and people who don’t have one were shunned.”

Yoongi sharp intake of breath was a sign for him to continue. “But [Y/N] is not those people, hyung. She loves you. She has always been in love with you. We all know that. You know that too, hyung.”

“I was drunk when I first wrote it and she looked so happy, happier than I’ve ever seen her.” Yoongi quietly said and leaned back on the bench. “I know it’s stupid but aside from my fear and my embarrassment, I just want to see her that happy.”

“Do you really think she’s that happy because you got a fucking mark?” Namjoon scoffed. “Hyung, you always told her that you want her name on your wrist.”

Yoongi turned to him, eyes filled with confusion and Namjoon rolled his eyes at how oblivious Yoongi was being.

“She’s happy because you finally got what you wanted. It doesn’t have anything to do with her. She just wants to see you happy.”

“That’s ridicu–”

“She looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars, for fuck’s sake and she always makes that stupidly cheesy expression when she talks about you. If that isn’t love, i don’t know what is.”

Namjoon turned to him and gave him a small pat on the back. “You know, she’s the one who told us about this place. No one even know where to find you except for her. Mark or no mark, she’s your soulmate.”

.

In theory, he should’ve just ran as fast as his feet could possibly take him, banged on her door once he arrive at her apartment, and profess his love. She would then opened the door with a look of surprise on her face and he would tell her how much he loves her and how sorry he was and they would kiss and live happily ever after.

But this was not a korean drama that aired twice a week in the afternoon or the cheesy rom-com movie that everyone insisted on watching once a month, despite the lack of decent plot. He didn’t run to her apartment with flowers and gifts. He didn’t even know if he should go back to her apartment after what he just did. It was Namjoon who dragged him by the collar of his shirt, shoved him inside the car Jin was driving, and drove him straight to her apartment. He didn’t think he deserved to be forgiven and if he were to be honest with himself, he was terrified. He fidget in his seat as Jin stopped the car, his teeth left a slight indentation on his lips as he tried to calm himself down.

“Go, Yoongi.” Jin said from the driver’s seat, smiling at him like Yoongi was some kind of prodigal son who had just returned.

“Jungkook just left and he said she’ll be fine once you’re there.” Namjoon spoke out when Yoongi looked hesitant.

“It’ll be okay, Yoongi.”

With Jin’s comforting words and Namjoon’s warm smile, he finally stepped out of the car and made his way inside the familiar building.

.

He took his time climbing up the stairs that lead to her apartment floor, his brain trying to come up with a decent confession. She would probably be okay with an ‘i’m sorry and i love you’ but he knew she deserved better. He paused at the end of the stairs, eyes wide as he stared at the door few meters down the hall and the woman he loved so much who was standing with a bag of ice cream in her hand. He must have made a noise because her attention quickly turned to him, her eyes filled with surprise and a hint of fondness when she saw him standing awkwardly by the stairs, hands tucked inside his jeans pockets, trying his best to not look like a complete idiot. He stared at her hesitantly and his heart lurched when her expression softened, lips curled into a loving smile.

“Yoongi?” She tilted her head at him when he took a few more strides to close the distance between them. “I bought ice cream. Your favorite.” She said as she lifted the plastic bag.

Every single word of apologies and promises died out in his tongue at the sight of her warm smile and soft eyes and Yoongi wanted nothing more but cry and hug her like there was no tomorrow. He felt the lump in his throat and blinked back his tears before she could see it and stood stiffly next to her, waiting for her to unlock the door and invite him inside.

“You want some ice cream, Yoongi?” She asked, looking back at him as she unloaded the contents of her plastic bag. Yoongi quickly trailed inside, locking the door in record speed, and followed her to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out, cheeks dusted with pink flush as she turned around on her heels.

“I know.” She nodded. She opened the ice cream tub and offered him a spoon. “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t, right?” She added and a sob escaped his lips at the uncertainty in her eyes.

“Yoongi?” Her arms were warm as she wrapped it around his torso, pulling him close and he felt the dam broke. He clutched into her sweater, tears soaking the fabric as he tried to mumbled more apologies between his sobbings. The tears seemed to fell down like waterfall and he struggled to breathe as he cried out for God knows how long, hands clutching onto her and he knew he must have ruined her sweater.

“I love you.” Yoongi mumbled against her chest, voice muffled by the fabric. She must have caught it because she pulled away from him to take a good look at him.

“You’re an idiot, Min Yoongi.” She smiled, eyes wet with fresh tears. Yoongi slowly reached out his hand to wipe away the tears from her cheek, lips slowly curled into a smile.

“I am.”

“Don’t you ever leave me like that again, do you understand?” She said after a moment with a serious expression. Yoongi nodded apologetically before he pulled her close again. “You’re gonna have to make it up to me.”

“I’ll buy you more ice creams and take you on more dates and buy you nice stuffs.” He promised. She shook her head, kissing his jaw affectionately.

“Just stay.” She whispered. “That’s enough for me.”

“I will.”

“And ice cream.” Yoongi let himself laugh at her childish comment and kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah. And ice cream.” There would be more things they need to talk about and he knew he would have to learn to bare his soul for her sooner or later. But right now this was enough. He felt more than alright and that was enough.


End file.
